I moved!

That’s right this blog is moved over to kyndell.com. I hope you still follow me and enjoy my little quirky slice of life.

For the love of Favre

How I spent my time in Green Bay. Lovely people and funny as hell.

Wrapped in liquid

Waiting for Baby: Our trip through the adoption process

Hey folks I’m going back in time catching you guys up to speed about our little adoption journey. I hope you enjoy the ride.

So for those who followed the Making Baby series here’s the start of a new chapter. Jeff and I took a long break and did some personal grieving after we decided not to continue with the whole IVF thing. The health risks were too high with a very small chance of return. We had to move on.

We got our last negative in September 2007 and agreed that we wouldn’t talk about the “A” word until the beginning of the year. The winter went by with small mentions of adoptions here and there but no serious discussion. The healing process took a while but it was necessary.

Should I sugar-coat? Nah! It sucked. Knowing that there’s something that you can’t do but most people can. Knowing that the thing you looked forward to you’ll never do. Knowing no matter what you do it’s completely out of your control. I don’t get to choose. The choice has already been made for me. Boy that sucked.

Crappy parents draggin’ their kids through the grocery store pissed me off more than normal. I got mad. I got sad. I got on with my life. There is definitely bits of that mad/sad girl inside but she’s taken a backseat. There are other roads to parenthood.

Choosing Adoption

It took us about a year and a half to start the process. We knew very little about adoption and when we were first doing our research there were some things that gave us pause.

I’m going to be frank. Holy cow the money! It is no joke. Adoption is expensive. On average domestic infant adoption costs about $20,000. If you do international, just tack on another $10,000+. In this economy? Damn.

The whole money thing weirded me out. All the fees for the different stages of adoption had different price tags. It felt like we were going to the store and buying a baby. Well we wouldn’t be able to take the baby right away so it would be more like lay-away. Crazy

The other thing about the money was that it was one of the big barriers for minorities to adopt. A loving home is a loving home. I just wish that all races of people that want to adopt could afford to.

The other weird thing. Openness. All domestic adoptions have some degree of openness. We looked online and went to informational meetings and there was no avoiding it. The birth mom would have some type of contact with us. We had no idea. Some stranger is going to be a part of our lives. So not sure about this at the beginning.

Here’s what I was sure about. We love kids and we want to be responsible for helping a human being to adulthood. We want all the terrible and wonderful things that go with that. The money? Who cares it comes and it goes. Openness? We’ll figure out what the really means. The most important part is that after this process is all said and done we’ll be parents and that’s awesome.

Next: Filling out the paperwork.

At the Target Field

I love my sexy hard hat.

History

Finally I’m home and have now put together the slideshow from the Big Day. I hope you enjoy it.

Inauguration eve: A walk to the Capitol

That Monday we all had planned to take in a few museums and a nice lunch. Once we got to The Mall our minds changed. Tens of thousands had come to look around and walk. We saw the Capitol all decked out and ready for the big show the next day. Lots of Bunting. Ingrid loves bunting. So with her suggestion we walk toward the Capitol to see how close we could get.

On the way our fellow media people were hard at work. Ha ha ha!! I’m on vacation! I can’t tell you how many times I said it. Actually probably too many. We passed many folks trying to cash in on history. Has there been a president with his face and name on so many wearables? JFK maybe but I’m sorry, it was just insane. T-shirts, hats, scarves, wrist bans saying “My president is black” and wrestlers/boxing belts shiny gold with Obama’s face on it. Crazy.

The people. Wow. It seemed that most of the black folks stepped out like everybody was going to a ball. I have NEVER seen so many fur coats, fur boots, heels (while walking on the Mall) and skin tight pants. I was speechless.

From furs to parkas everyone was so happy to be there. They knew what was coming the next day and they were all blissful. Two stories. We crossed one street and saw a line of buses from Fergus Falls. Holy cow! They’re playing in the parade. So since there were journalists in the group we had to knock. The kids were out sight seeing and we were left with the bus driver. He does tell us the group had to come up with more than $4,500 for the band to go. They had to raise the money in 3 weeks. They $6,500. Crazy. I love it when people come together. I know they had an awesome time.

The second story is this little Rasta family we ran into. They were displaying England’s flag, not the Union Jack but the flag of the Big E. I talk to the father, Jeremy. They had moved to D.C. not too long ago and loved it. Well especially now. He said that he had gone home a month ago to visit family after the election. I asked them if people were excited about our choice of president and he said “Darling, the whole world is excited.”

We made our way to the Capitol and got up to the ticketed seats. Sweet. Above the stairs we saw this large group of people. Was it a tour group, secret service, volunteers? Nope. The inauguration choir made up of middle school/high school age kids. We got to hear them practice. It was so cool. They were all in their little red hats and the pianist was in a full length pink parka. They rehearsed their first song an at the end were greeted by applauses that stretched down The Mall. Their mics were still on so you could totally hear them going “My my god! I can’t believe people are clapping.” They heard us! They heard us!” It was so very cute.

We all decided that it would be a good idea to do a little shopping then to home. Tomorrow was definitely going to be a big day.

How do 2.5 million people find their way home?

After getting up ridiculously early and spending six hours standing at The Mall witnessing history, we made the trip home. (I know I’m jumping the gun a little because clearly I have skipped forward and left out the most important part of the day. Be patient. That part is coming.)

So after hi-fiving each other at the end of the ceremony we all decide we’re hungry and it was time to find food and head home. Well the finding food part was clearly a pipe dream. As we made our way in the direction of food we kept being turned back by barricaded streets. Hundreds of thousands of people were being funneled through a few exits. Folks linked by similar colored hats or scarves arm and arm desperately tried to stay together as our personal space got smaller and smaller. As we moved toward the narrowest part of the funnel it felt like a moving mosh pit with no music, no dancing and no one flying over head. Everyone was just desperate not to lose their loved ones in the sea of parkas, and fur coats.

After going through a couple of those we realized how futile it would be to try and find food downtown. (silly silly people). Now it was time to try and find a metro stop.We weaved through the streets with the rest of the 2.5 million people trying to regain a our personal space. We arrived at L’Efante Plaza to a mobbed metro station. Raised, angry voices rolled our way from the front of the crowd. Hmmm. We all turned to each other and say “Nah let’s keep walking.”

Finally we found what seemed to be a civilized line at Capitol South. It seemed to move even if it was slowly. The problem was that the street was a wind tunnel. The folks in line huddle all behind each other as we moved toward he entrance. More than two hours felt like ten years. No food since 6am, barely anything to drink (thank god because there was no where to pee), and we had been standing for so long. I looked back at my people and they looked like I felt, miserable. We were all so tired. As we moved up were saw one lady being taken away on a gurney. Cops running by after raised voices. but the line still moved. Once we got closer we all realized the reason for the raised voices. People were cutting in line. Folks needed to yell to stop the insanity. Now I got it. I was a witness to it. And for those who know me you know I sent some folks packing.

We were all pretty much at our wits end by the time we made to the front of the line. But once there we made our way down the escalator through the smll crowd and down to a waiting train. Seats came soon after. Besides the crazy lady who sat in the middle of the aisle refusing to move as more people got on the train, our ride was uneventful. We were warm and resting.

Thinking about Tuesday and the part of the day that was difficult, I have to say so what. With a crowd that size not to have anything but raised voices is remarkable. With that many people to have no one trampled, people saying excuse me is insane. It’s my belief and it’s what I heard from a few folks at different times during our journey home, is that no one wanted to ruin the beauty of the day. We grumbled, we did a little yelling, maybe a little pushing but in the end everyone let it go. The day was bigger than us. How often does that happen?

A tasting

Okay so here’s the plan. This is a short slideshow of photos from the big day. There’s no sound just images. There will be a bigger production later. I’m running on empty with this laptop battery and have to give the converter colling down breaks. No need to blow a fuse or catch the van on fire.

Anyway, it was a wonderful experience. At time it was a little hairy. Lots of early mornings, blizzards, crowded metro cars, cold winds hours on standing.Would I do it again? Ya you betcha!

A brief update

Hey folks the group will head into the for a little fun before we leave. My plan is to work on some slide shows in the van. Yesterday was amazing. It was a test of wills though. I’ll fill you in once we get on the road.
Thanks so much following our journey.